I am sitting here and all I can think is why? Why do I have to live without my daughter? Why does my husband have to away right now. Why can't life just be a teeny bit easier. Michael really is doing what he is supposed to. We are just trying to cope with this pain, We are trying to do this in a healthy manner even. I am sitting here feeing lost completely lost. I don't know how I am ever supposed to be alright again. I have to though. I don't have a choice. I have to keep telling Mellie's story so that she can help other people. Luca and Gracie need me.