Brooke Marie Lillard

I am at a loss for words for so many of my overwhelming emotions, Life has continued on without Mellodi. We all pretend to be okay. I go to work and come home, I take care of the kids. They go to school and play and learn. All while my soul is hurting every second of the day.

On February 19th one of my very good friends left us here on earth, I know she is in heaven snuggling my baby girl. I can't help but to think of her children, if I can't understand how the world is still carrying on, They can't understand either. They just miss their mom. She was 27 years old. Its unfair 3 kids missing their mom, a mom missing her daughter, a twin missing her other half, a baby sister wanting her big sister, a big brother who wants to look out for his little sister, a dad missing his little girl. It hurts my heart in unexplainable ways to know I'll never get another random visit or late night phone call. The age between Mellie and Brooke is big but the hurt is the same for anyone close. All of the what if's. All of the things those kids are going to be wishing their mommy was there for. The moments those sisters will share and wish their sister was here. The things that her mom wishes she could have seen her do or be. They knew her, They knew her personality and will miss her smile and laughter. They will miss her sarcasm =) and jokes. They knew the potential she had. They know exactly what the world lost when Brooke left us. And I promise you if you didn't know her, you were missing out. I can think of 10,0000 memories with her and I knew her 11 years. I imagine that 27 years is an endless amount of memories. I have an endless amount with Mellie and that was 6 short months, her personality was just starting to really show. I don't know how or why things are decided to be the way they are, I know that so many times it seems unfair. Unfair that as a parent I have to wonder what hearing my daughter say mommy would have sounded like, unfair that Brooke's daughter will have to get ready for her wedding someday wondering what her mom would say. I already knew that you have to cherish every moment you have here with the people you love. Losing Mellodi taught me that, but now Brooke has reminded me again. Smile with the people you love, play games and have fun. Don't stress all the small things, because even if it seems big right now, it'll be small tomorrow. Take pictures and make memories every second you can. You never know when your going to be gone and everyone will wish you were here to hug them or when you'll be wishing for a hug from someone you love. I love you Brooke! I can't believe your gone, It seems unreal. I know you love mellodi. Kiss my baby girl for me, rock her to sleep. Everyone down here, we'll take care of your babies for you. Until we meet again, Forever loved and missed.

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