I am sitting here and today, well today I feel the anger, the resentment, the disappointment. I know anger is part of the grieving process and I know my feelings of hatred towards the seemingly unfair are at best silly sometimes. Valid but its the situation I am in. I try to tell myself, I am not angry, In all reality (excuse my language) I am pissed off at EVERYONE. I walk around life feeling like I'm obviously being picked on, a chip on my shoulder that is undeniable. I am not being picked on, everything seems wrong and there is no good outweighing the heartache here but there is good. I have seen a side of people I would have never thought existed, the loving and caring and truly good side to people. I have learned hard lessons, some I would have told you I would never feel the way I do about things now but those hard lessons, the really big eye openers, well they showed me I could feel this way.
The whole human race forgets to just breath sometimes, Stop stressing, put the anger aside and just breath. Stop and soak in the memory you are creating, Just breath and take it all in. Enjoy every small detail, Pay attention to the color of the cars around you. Take the time to pay attention to the memories people around you creating, feel their emotion and just breath. When the world won't stop spinning and your to dizzy to stand any longer, close your eyes, breath and regain your balance. We all are always in a rush, hurrying to get kids to school, late for work, oh missed that appointment. We get so caught up in the breathless whirlwind of life, We forget how beautiful it is to just stop and breath in the world around us. We miss watching that little girl across the street ride her bike the first time, It's not something that is a life changing memory to you, unless you stop, breath and watch her joy. Her accomplishment in herself, If you cant get a smile out of yourself when you see that, well I am not sure you are human. I forgot to just relax and breath so much, I missed so many joyous moments with my own children. Every once in a while, forget the dishes , forget the homework even, who cares about the laundry, the toys every where...well they add character. Breath in every moment you are here on this earth, pay attention to the love and the kind in the world. The bad and the evil, They don't deserve center stage. Take a bow and step aside, because I am letting love, light and happiness take center stage of my life. When the bad creeps up and tries to take over the scene, Just breath, count to ten because the light will always over power the darkness. Happiness is plentiful if you want it. The sadness makes you appreciate the smiles in a whole new light, It reminds you if you just stop and take a deep breath and look for a piece of happiness, even if it is someone else memory that you are watching form, let their happiness bring out your smile, It could change your whole day, maybe make the difference of the worst and best day of your life. So just remember when your stumbling in the dark and it seems you'll never find your way out, stop breath and look for that little light, sometimes you only have to find a sliver to start bring back your own light. I pray every day that those in darkness find that peace and happiness within themselves, because I wont let the anger, the evil take center stage. I want you to see what happiness is too, even if people think I lost my mind, I am not god and I'm not the judge of what you deserve. Peace happiness and light is always the top of my prayers and asking god to help me remember to stop and just breath.